WOLFE BYTES

By Bret Wolfe

Monthly Column Exclusively at JasonCurious.com

Column #1: “Did You Watch Prime Time Live Last Night?”

“Hey Bret, did you hear what Diane Sawyer was saying about the porn industry.  Is that what it is really like?  If so, maybe you should get out of that business!”

Yeah. Regrettably I saw this newest journalistic masterpiece, I say that very loosely, in a recent edition of ABC’s Prime Time Live. Now admittedly the manufacturing of pornography is an extremely interesting topic. It fills that fantastic need to see another facet of our varied culture; a sub-culture seemingly removed from the general population. It is a business that most Americans do not experience on a day-to-day basis. But the end product created is another story, whether it is on video or in online content.

Factoid: Did you know that online porn is the number one income generator on the Internet today? So I guess that the industry will always exist and consumers will always want it. I realize that this is not in debate. What appears to be in debate is that for such a consumed product, one that apparently employs and/or entertains the masses in obvious secret; it is still perceived as an exclusively sordid industry with these horrible greasy creatures using and abusing sad, uneducated victims of broken homes, that practically every video that is made is somehow produced with the use of drugs and/or violent force. This is where the truth becomes a bit shaded by these news programs. God forbid that the sex industry is made up of people who actually want to participate and enjoy their involvement. No, to get the ratings they need, ABC feels that’s it better to perpetuate the myth that the industry is disgusting and without merit. Sex is evil. Sex is sin.

Now don’t think that I live on some peculiar planet wherein we are all happy and without problems. I understand and have personally witnessed people that have been put in complicated positions because of this industry, but I was also, and still am in, a “legitimate” career and saw the same basic complicated positions present themselves. It is a fucking business. People get hurt, people learn things, eople make decisions based on the needs of the moment, set goals, live dreams – I could go on but I think you get the point.

What I am sick of seeing is this vision of a defenseless creature being put to use in a disgustedly seedy way. I watched as Diane Sawyer talked to this “poor female” who got into the business because of the lure of the money. She left, only to come back to the money, and was struggling to find a real life for herself. They showed footage of her filming a scene where in they made it appear as though she were a victim of rape when the truth was so much the exact opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to belittle and or comprise this young women’s personal truth. And I do not want to completely sugar coat all of the industry’s problems… and yes, there are many. We all certainly experience many different paths in life, positive and negative. What upset me is the fact that in this news piece, there was no example of a person and/or persons who represented the models who enjoyed the business and process of porn. I was screaming about the injustice of fair and appropriate journalism. It was a prejudiced piece from the beginning and I thought that I needed to express to the many of you and hopefully to some others that there is in fact another side of the story. A side that has a much more positive spin on one of the largest and consistent moneymakers in the world; it’s not all “exploitation” and financial gain.

I never for a moment took the decision to get into this business lightly. I knew and of course am still aware that it is a reasonably controversial trade. One does not generally wake up one morning and say, “I am going to become a Porn Star.” I considered all the positive and negative aspects of getting involved. Obviously you see what decision I made. I have yet to have any regrets.

Personally, this business has provided for so much individual growth, it is overwhelming. It has taken my personal insecurities regarding my body and self-image and transformed it into a cascade of self-empowerment and sexual discovery. It has allowed for me to discover a whole other side of who and what I am, without fear and without antipathy. I began to explore my sexuality and now feel good about sharing the art of sexuality to the world.

Porn allowed for me to become a fully rounded and fully expressive person. I would never give up that kind of gift. It is because of this “controversial” industry that I have truly gained control and have developed a very honest relationship with who and what I am… flaws and all. 

Besides the emotional discoveries that have come out of this, there are also the professional and personal gains in my life that have been influenced. It is because of porn that I now have the wonderful ability to write columns such as this. It is because of porn that my ideas and my thoughts are expressed to other communities. How wonderful is a gift like that! Did you know that in the past six months I have been published twice, in honest to God magazines? Getting involved in this industry has brought about a wonderful revolution of creativity. It has sparked an inner debate that has made allowable for me to start breaking into a whole new genre of my personal imagination. I have started writing a book and a play. It was always a concept before, but because of porn it is now a reality.

But the thing that I think has been the most important and wonderful reward has been the friendships that I have made. I do not know if you know what living in a big metropolitan city is like, or what living a gay Mecca is like, but trust me, at times making honest and true friends can be one of the largest challenges that one can face. In a city like Los Angeles, where the city is motivated with the notion of creating a façade; it becomes difficult to discover what reality is, especially in relationships and friendships. The blessing that has presented itself to me has been the opportunity to meet some really incredible people, people that I can relate on many levels. I am most amazed by the wonderful assortment of personalities that have some into my life. In seven years of living in Los Angles it was only until the past year that I have truly become comfortable by the people I chose to surround myself with. That has truly come from porn and the personal evolution that porn allowed to develop.

So to Diane Sawyer and Prime Time Live: I suggest that next time you do a story on porn and the adult business you do not take a one-sided look at one of the largest industries in the world. There are many facets to this industry and many different and wonderful types of people. It mirrors many industries in the fact that there are good and bad sides to all the varied coins. I suggest that next time you do a story that you begin to finally represent the people, like myself, who love the choice they have made and who wholly embrace the people and the diligence of this trade.

I am a porn star and proud…and the happiest that I can be.

Bret Wolfe

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