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June 18 , 2003


“A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

- The astrologically aware Nancy Regan, an old hand at the heated H20 experience.

The Haltsons Branch Out; Candida, Where is the Sex?; Falcon Studios' "Good as Gold"; LVNI's Jacklyn Lick Pulsator.



THE HALTSONS BRANCH OUT: Isn’t it romantic? Husband and wife starting their own line of porn together! I think it’s a fabulous thing and I predict Holly Halston and Troy Halston will be smashingly successful! Turns out, the terrible twosome are going to be shooting the first installment of their own video series – written, produced, starring, and directed by themselves – in Florida this weekend. This is only the beginning of a plethora of projects the two will be self-helming over the course of the next couple of months.

While The Halstons tell me that most of the movies they’ll be shooting over the following months will be aimed at a straight audience, their gay porn fan base should never fear! “We know we have a huge following from our bisexual movies,” Troy told me over the phone earlier this week. “We have a bisexual feature that we’ll be shooting before the year is out, as well. It’s very exciting. We’ve been wanting to make our own movies for a long time. The planning is done, the financing is here, and we’re ready to perform some of our hottest scenes yet.”

Troy tells me that he and Holly are even planning on performing with other people now that they’re doing it on their own turf! Sounds like we’ll be seeing a new and nastier side of the Halstons!



CANDIDA, WHERE IS THE SEX?: I was less than thrilled with famed director Candida Royalle’s latest Adam & Eve release, Stud Hunters, in which she attempts to make a porno geared only towards women. While the production value is better than Vivid quality and Royalle is without a doubt superb as a director, the sex is minimal and lacking in so many ways. Granted, the movie was made for women – which I am not, though I am a gay man (or bisexual, if you will) and tend to pride myself on the fact that, more often than not, I know what women want. This movie features only three sex scenes, where nearly all of the sex happens in the same position and there is no cum shot to boot. Furthermore, I’ve seen tortoises fuck faster than these so-called studs! I’m sorry, Candida, but whoever said that women like their sex over easy? Most women I know have the fantasy of being taken forcefully or taking a man forcefully for that matter – but certainly none of this one-position slow schlop. If they wanted that, they wouldn’t be buying porn, they’d be fucking their husbands. Women only have a problem with porn when the men are unattractive, the lighting sucks, and the sex is overtly degrading. Candida Royalle has managed to fix all three of those issues with Stud Hunters. Now if she could only have included some hot sex.



FALCON STUDIOS’ “GOOD AS GOLD”: Lifetime Exclusive, Matthew Rush, joins my personal favorite, Joe Foster, in Falcon Studios’ Good as Gold, the company’s latest feature, which follows Rush on an erotic adventure “down under” to compete in Sydney, Australia’s 2002 Gay Games Olympics. The footage, directed by Kristofer Weston, is brilliantly captured in documentary style (MTV’s Diary comes to mind) to the point that you don’t know where the reality ends and the script begins, making the sex scenes all the more hot and realistic to the viewer.

Said sex scenes include a hard-hitting romp between Rush and Jake Andrews that moves from a jacuzzi to Andrews’ hotel room; a stunning bar-top jack-off from Dean Tyler; a non-stop hot action orgy featuring Matthew Rush, Josh Weston, Jason Tyler, Brendan Falke, Joe Foster, Nino Bacci, Jack Ryan, Tommy Brandt, Cameron Fox, and Paul Johnson; a beach scene that will make any gay couple cream to watch as Matthew Rush joins the loving duo of Brendan Austin and Steve Hogan; and a final outdoor session with professed best buds, Matthew Rush and Joe Foster.

Nothing is lackluster here, from the behind-the-scenes footage of Rush’s trip, to the all-male action that unfolds – but Falcon certainly saved the best for last. Rush and Foster are magnificent together. Their chemistry is magical and their scene is one of the hottest of the year as Rush buries his face deep in Foster’s ass and then plows his hole in three different pulsating positions.

He may not have taken home the gold at the Gay Games, but if there was a category for fucking, you can bet Matthew Rush would have!

Falcon’s Good as Gold is now available on VHS at www.falconstudios.com.





LVNI’S JACKLYN LICK PULSATOR: Our trusty webmistress, Susie G., is back with yet another review of a Las Vegas Novelties product, this one being Jacklyn Lick’s Pulsator, which she had her boyfriend try out on her this past weekend. So without further ado, Susie Says:

I have to say this thing is damn scary out of the box. It is basically a rubber ring to go around the penis with an inch long nubby thing that is supposed to vibrate as it rubs against your clit. I tried the vibration action as soon as I opened it and the soft rubber and smooth vibration passed my test but I wasn’t sure if the boyfriend was going to go for the ‘stick you dick through here’ instructions. He totally surprised me when he picked it up, laughed and stretched the thing over his dick without even a comment! We started out in a basic face to face position trying to actually position the Pulsator somewhere near my clit. Unfortunately the rubber is so soft that with every motion it curled and got mashed more under my clit then on it. It also didn’t vibrate continually. And there is NOTIHING worse then being on the edge of cumming when suddenly the vibrations stop! After several attempts and many positions, we gave up. (The sex toy not the sex!)  He pulled it off and hurled it towards the floor, where, I kid you not, the damn thing would not stop vibrating! It also takes one of those small watch batteries and what are the chances of that thing ever being replaced?

Jacklyn Lick’s Pulsator is available at www.lvni.com.


Monthly Guest Columnist, Tina Tyler
Monthly Guest Columnist, Brittany Andrews
Monthly Guest Columnist, Bret Wolfe



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